# Carlos's Navy hedgedad



## SaltAndExtraPepper (Mar 4, 2011)

My fiance left for his six-month deployment early this morning. It's been a long day, but it feels easier so far than the other times he's had to leave. I think it's a mix of me getting used to it, knowing approximately when he'll be home, knowing it's not as long as other times, and the fact that this time around we've got a couple of really close friends for me to pass the time with. Oh and the engagement excitement haha, that's always a pick-me-up I s'pose!

Among other emotions, I was saddened that he did not say goodbye to Carlos this morning because A) we were running late for the airport and B) Carlos was sleeping when we left and Alex doesn't like waking him.

But, when things settle down and we get a routine, I'll make sure he visits Carlos via video chats 

Do any other hedgemoms or hedgedads here have military spouses or friends? I'm sure there are. Oh and I have great new pics of Carlos to add to my thread on the Fun section, but I can't figure out how to get them off of my new phone  I feel like I've tried everything! :lol: but I'm working on it. I love these forums and the people on it, it strengthens me to be part of a community with such a bright and fun passion.


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## Rainy (Jul 27, 2011)

Please tell Carlos's hedgedad that Harvey, Izzy and I say thanks for serving our country. 

My bestfriend's husband just returned from Kuait (sp?) last week. It was a wonderful moment to see him get off the bus in Lansing....permanently. He just retired after 28 years of service. But I can tell you that it was so difficult for my friend. She's not one to ask for help either, so I had to pay attention to signals that told me she might need help and just do it. So, I guess what I'm saying is that even really good friends can get caught up in their own lives and not be able to see that you're struggling. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes people don't know what to do for you until you tell them. If you have really good friends, then lean on them as much as you can. This is a time where you'll be more supsceptable to depression and anxiety. Don't be afraid to get help for those either. It doesn't mean that you are crazy, it just means that you need someone impartial to talk to about your feelings. It's okay to reach out to others. If you want to talk, you can pm me any time. HUGS. Hang in there.

If you and the hedgedad are married, you can also take advanatage of the health care package that the military offers to get counseling for yourself, if needed. 

Just some thoughts. You don't have to go through this alone. HUGS. <3


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## SaltAndExtraPepper (Mar 4, 2011)

Awh thanks Rainy! I will inform him of your thanks when I next get in contact with him. (It seems he hasn't got access to internet yet, but when he does we can use our new phones and a wifi connection to talk for free!  )
And that is cool about your friends husband being home for good, a hearty congratulations to them. 28 years is a long time! At least, it is from my perspective hahaha, oh and Kuwait was one of the stopovers my fiance made yesterday!

From what you said, I sort of get where your friend was coming from..or at least, I can relate it to myself! One of my biggest issues this time around was that our best friends are a couple, and we'd always hang out as a group of 4, (or 6 when our other bestfriends joined us...who are also a couple :lol: ) and I felt like I'd be a third or fifth wheel if my guy wasn't with me.  Now I feel silly for ever thinking that! We all had a big, touching talk the night before he left and I know that they're there for me and enjoy my company just as much as his.
And, hedgedad asked our very best friend to be his best man, and to look out for me. We are such an easygoing group of friends, it was very odd to suddenly have just a large dose of "drama" in one day! :lol:

But thank you for all that advice. To be perfectly honest, it was tempting to brush it off in an "Oh no, me? I'm fine, thanks but no thanks!" sorta way. Buuut I know myself better than that, so I will keep all of it in mind so hopefully I can be even stronger, for both of us (and for Carlos of course! Hedgehogs are supposedly every sensitive to the emotions of their handlers. Gotta keep my chin up for my little spiky man!) Thanks again Rainy, you're really sweet :mrgreen:


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## Rainy (Jul 27, 2011)

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say all of us on the forum are here for you too. HUGS and hang in there.


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## DasIgelPoggie (Oct 21, 2010)

He's not my spouse.... yet... ... But he is my boyfriend of two and a half years. It is very, very difficult. Hang in there!! My Igel was actually a gift from my boyfriend as an "I'm sorry I'm stationed across the country for your birthday" gift :lol: We've been together through a deployment to Afghanistan, Iraq, and lots of training, and a new base-- I am on the west coast and he is on the east. I can't go with him yet because I have a year left in my degree and the credits don't transfer over. There is no fix-it to missing him. You're just going to. :/ BUT... There are always amazing support groups, like friends and family, to help you while he's gone... and HHC!  With all the support, and keeping yourself busy, time goes faster than you'd think it would (it's still hard, but, six months is not so bad!). Hang in there, and we're all here to support you!!


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## SaltAndExtraPepper (Mar 4, 2011)

Awwwh DasIgelPoggie that's so sweet! My guy and I have been together a little over two years now, too. Our first year together he was in middle America for training and school while I waited at the west. He also wanted to get me a hedgehog as a birthday present cause he was in bootcamp the year before :lol: both our men are so sweet hehehe!
But you are sooo right. Things are definitely different when he's gone, including how I feel, and there's not a whole lot to do about it except stay positive! But, as you said, six months ain't too bad, and the more I do to make each day go by, the faster it will seem to pass.  Thanks for your understanding, that helps a lot too along with all the other support I've been getting <3

And, kudos to you for keeping up with school! It takes a little extra willpower when there's something you really want so many miles away! I love the house I grew up in but still I'd love to go be with him, haha


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