# Feeling so guilty..



## burnfaith (Nov 9, 2012)

Hey,

I thought I'd post this and see if anyone else feels similar or has advice.

Like most people who've purchased a hog, I spent quite a bit of time, money and effort in regards to acquiring everything Linus needs (CHE lamp, bulbs, clippers, cage, wheel, food, dishes, fleece, ecetera) and as such, I clean his cage regularly, he always has fresh food and water and a clean wheel. I speak to him every night but generally only spend a solid 20-30 minutes with him 2-3 times a week.

And for this I feel terribly, terribly guilty. I've read so many posts on here about people who take their hedgehogs out and I feel like as a pet owner, I absolutely suck. I'm not writing this as a pity post - I simply am wondering, would Linus be happier with someone else? I know hedgehogs by natural aren't the most social creatures, and I don't mind if he takes a few minutes to warm up to me because it's understandable - but in regards to care, since they are solitary creatures - am I worrying unnecessarily?

Part of my issue is that I live in Ontario - it's cold here right now and with a CHE set up, I'm not horribly comfortable taking him out of the cage and onto the ground to play - wooden floors in an apartment that's regularly 68 degrees are NOT warm.

I may have someone interested in taking him who seems to be a really caring person who's hog has passed away but I also feel tremendously guilty at the thought of giving him away to someone.

Opinions are welcome..


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## RondackHiker (Jan 21, 2013)

I'm not experienced, but we use a space heater to warm the play area, or have her run around on a flannel blanket. 

Knarla isn't a cuddler, but if Linus is, could he sit in your lap while you do something else.. Watch tv or read a book?


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## Shell (Aug 23, 2012)

I agree that a space heater would help quite a bit keeping you both warm and then you wouldn't feel as bad taking him out. All pets prefer stability and a routine thats more or less regular. He may not do as well in another home. You speak to him, keep him fed and clean and Obviously love him enough to feel guilty about how much time you spend with him. To be honest with you, I work full time and don't get home until 10pm so there are days I just want to crawl in bed and leave Percy to his own. He doesn't mind. Come to think of it, he prefers it. We have our bonding time during bath time, I'll take him out when I'm in the mood and he'll sit on my lap snuggling in his suggle sac or I'll let him run around the room while I'm on the computer. I think I've socialized him quite well from when he was a baby, taking him to work with me and getting him use to being handled. His personality doesn't seem to change from the times I handle him often, to the times I don't. I know many people with hedghogs that don't take them out on a regular basis, but love them and their hedgie's are quite fine. I'd think twice about rehoming your little one, but you have to think twice about what's best for the both of you. A space heater would be a great start.


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## Amlinals (Jul 26, 2012)

I've been having the same sorts of feelings, so I know exactly where you're coming from.  
My girl Astrid is actually pretty wonderfully behaved with me, and even though she is VERY easily spooked by any movement around her, she at least unrolls almost instantly for me. But it takes honestly forever with the kids, and it breaks my heart. My kids arent little either, they are teenagers, and i have sat with my daughter on numerous occasions and watched her try and try and she listens to all my advice and she is very still and doesnt fidget and moves slowly and the whole bit, but that little ball just doesn't want to give in and relax for her for some reason, just wants to hide and keep re-balling up. Even though at the breeder's she actually preferred my daughter over me. Even mealworms bribes don't usually do the trick, although she's crazy for mealworms with me. She might come out just enough to gobble it, but then instant re-ball. My son has an even harder time, as he is just a fidgety person, he doesn't even realize he's doing it, there's always a twitch or a sniffle or something that sets her off and spooks her.
I changed original plans and have kept her in the living room (primarily for the proximity to the heater, so that I wouldn't have to fuss with a CHE just yet) but also so that she would actually be around the household action and noise on a regular basis and maybe get less spooked so easily. But, that hasnt made any improvement. 
So between that reaction with the kids, and the peeing and pooping on us almost every time she's out, the kids have just basically given up on even trying with her. It's not a matter of the cliche kids lost interest, like she's not exciting and new so we're "bored" with her, they're just at this point frustrated and turned off by her. If it were just a little grumpy "I'm sleeping" ball, I would understand, but its usually a pickier, angrier, "f-off and leave me alone" kind of ball, that eventually with every motion graduates to even pickier, and even angrier.  
I just sit here sometimes and wonder if maybe its just here, or just us, and maybe she might behave differently for a different family, and end up being more relaxed and happy and enjoy her life a little more. 
So, now, basically, its only me, and I talk to her every day, at least at feeding time, but usually also here and there whenever im doing something near her cage. i used to spend quite a bit more time with her at first, but work got very busy at christmas time and i havent quite gotten back to our pre-xmas routine, but i try to take her out for at least a few minutes at most feeding times, and check her little footies when her wheel looks messy. i try to also spend a little longer time once or twice with her throughout the week on my nights off, to check up on her a little more closely (its usually pretty dark in the living room at night, for her benefit) It honestly doesnt seem to matter how many days i go when i get busy, she's always been the same behaviour with me. But unfortunately most of my free time is during the day, and it seems to be a little too bright for her in the daylight, so she's not that interactive, whenever i try to let her crawl around to try to play and exercise, she just wants to instantly find a place to hide and go back to sleep. So thats when you start to go, whats the point of taking her out and disturbing her sleep? I work most evenings and weekends so I was kind of counting on the kids to be spending time with her then, maybe holding her while they watch tv, or letting her crawl around while they do homework, when its a little darker in here and closer to her normal waking up time. But that just doesn't happen, cause there's just not that "click" between them, she seems SO unhappy when they try that it just feels like you're torturing her. 
I then justify this lack of interaction by saying they're meant to be asleep and solitary and do their own thing at night by themselves, that's what's natural, so at least she's healthy and she's probably content the way she is left to herself in her bed. It's not her fault, and its probably not even really our fault, I guess I just made a poor choice for our family. Its hard when you cant really "try" a new pet out first, you know, especially when you literally dont know anyone who's had that kind of pet before, so you cant even go and check out theirs. But i spent lots of time researching first and i read and read about these other hedgie pets and their quirks and the type of interaction their owners had and i was prepared for the moody and i was prepared for the prickly, i knew it would take patience and perseverence, i dont know, i guess I just thought that if we got a well-raised and well- handled baby (which we did, I was very choosy and drove a long ways to a certain breeder), and we started early and did everything right that some kind of magical bond would eventually happen and i guess it kind of did with me, I just wasn't the one I wanted it for. So the kids cant really interact with her. At least if there was some independent playing they could get some enjoyment from watching- maybe I'd feel better if she was at least enjoying herself in her cage - but she's never shown any interest in any toys or balls or tubes or anything I've given her. They're always left in the exact same spot, untouched, day after day. Every once in a blue moon she'll drag a dirty paper towel into bed with her. lol. She uses her wheel at night (usually), and otherwise she eats, pees, poops and liner dives. That's about her life. 
I just always wonder if maybe its here, or maybe its us, would she perhaps come out of her shell more for another family and have a happier, more exciting life?


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## Avarris (Dec 3, 2012)

Burnoffaith-

Firstly, sometimes its really tough when you are new at any kind of pet ownership, exotics is even tougher. Don't beat yourself up. Secondly, I realize the floor tempuratures are a bit cool, but having him out for a half our or so on the floor in a pen won't hurt him. If thats what is limiting your time to 2-3 times a week, you are overthinking it. I did the same thing and asked the same question because my house in general is cooler than my room. Also, just watching TV with him in a cuddle sack really helps. Depending on how active your little guy is, he could sleep the time away, or get curious about what's going on and take the opportunity to explore. I live in Ohio where the weather changes every day, but in general is too cold to have a hedgie outside right now. Slide a handwarmer in a sock in a carry sack if you want to take him on outings with you.Those things can crank out some serious heat. I've caught Pippin on a number of occassions snuggled up to the sock at the bottom of her bag. All of this counts as bonding time. Hedgehogs don't show contentment like a dog or cat would, they just simply are.

Amlinals-

It sounds like Astrid has bonded really well with you. You are her primary caregiver and she knows your scent and feels safe with it. Might I suggest something else? It'll be a bit time consuming, but it may work. For about two weeks have your daughter (or son) sleep in one or two different shirts for a week. When the second week starts have Astrid sleep with the shirts your daughter slept in to get accustomed to her scent being a safe scent. Have your daughter do all her feeding, cleaning, baths and check ups on feet and nails. When it's time for Astrid to be out to play, have her in a cuddle sack and let your daughter sit with her or be with her when she is in her pen. Once Astrid starts to relax for your daughter, start introducing your sons scent through his nightshirts, and have him be the primary caregiver for her. In theory she will associate all three smells as safe smells and you may be able to enjoy her as a family pet, rather than your pet. Just a thought.

As far as the pooping and peeing everytime she is out; I have kind of learned Pippin's schedule and know that within the first half hour after getting her up and cleaning her cage, she'll eat, go potty, wait for me to spot clean the new mess, and then she will be ready for some snuggle time with me. I have less poopy disasters doing things this way, it might help a bit if you knew her potty schedule?


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## Amlinals (Jul 26, 2012)

Thanks for the advice about the shirts, I had kind of forgotten about that as a possible technique. I had actually been doing the scent approach with the kids early on, with snuggle sacks and cage liners and whatnot, making the kids sleep with them, but I was changing the bonding bags so often back then because of pee accidents when out, that I don't think those made much of an impression, and then she wouldn't sleep in the in-cage sacks, since she prefers to liner-dive, lol, so that didnt work either.  now that we have her cage down to a science and she only uses her paper towels for a bathroom and I have her cage liner mounded on the other half for liner diving, I can actually use the liner for a lot longer between washings, I think that scent thing will work a lot better now. I'll have them wear a tshirt and maybe also lie down on a cage liner too. It's way better weather for sleeping with fleece than it was back in August/September! Hahaha. 
As for the potty schedule, yeah, surprisingly not as easy to predict as you would think. In the cage, yes, she's awesome, she basically will do most of her business in one shot, on her paper towels, maybe around midnightish. Usually makes for an almost spotless wheel. Almost never gets up to go during the day. - Unless you take her out. Hahaha. If you put her back in her cage though, she won't take that opportunity to pee, she'll just scoot right back to bed. If you don't put her back, however, you pretty much guarantee getting peed on. Pretty much as soooooon as you get confident, and forget to worry about getting peed on, you'll get peed on.  only pee? Nope. Dont be silly. Poop too.  
Have I tried giving her a bath so she'll "go" in the bath, and then hold her? Yes. She'll go in the bath, sure. Quite a lot, actually. Then she'll go on us too. >:/ Grrrrr...


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## HappyHedgies (Feb 17, 2011)

If its too cool on the ground hold the hedgehog on your lap in a blanket. This is what I usually do because my floors are a little cool for them.

Do not beat yourself up, you are handling your hedgehog more often then some owners. Its not like you are neglecting your animal because your still taking care of its living environment. I have approx 30 hedgehogs in my care right now and we get around to handling every hog at least once or twice a week. We have a team of 5 people taking care of the herd so no hedgehog is neglected or forgotten. 

I would say all of my hedgehogs get about half an hour or more of handling time 1-3 times a week. This time usually consists of foot baths, regular bathing, nail clipping or cuddles on the couch while watching a movie, also treat time. Whenever im about to put a movie on I usually go and grab one of my hogs and watch a movie with them if they settle down. If the hog I have picked to cuddle with is more interested in wandering and exploring I usually let them free run on the floor for a few moments. As soon as I notice them trying to look for a sleeping spot I will return them to their cage and pick up someone else. 

As long as your hedgehog has a suitable living environment and has space to roam within its cage don't stress to much. Some hedgehogs dont mind staying in their cage. Bentley for instance loves being talked to, he likes receiving treats but he hates being touched or removed from his cage. He willl not sit with us nicely so he only gets handled when needed. Since he is such a hermit we increased his cage to a 2x3 since he doesn't get out as much (we use C&C). We do take him out regularly to maintain his nails and cleanliness but other then that he would prefer to be at home. 

Make sure you observe your hedgehogs behavior. If you find that your hedgehog is running circles in its cage frantically you might want to increase the cage size and add some new toys. Odyssey, one of our other females is like this. We did have her in a 2x2 but I noticed her running circles constantly so we upsized her cage to a 2x3. When she was in the 2x2 she would run circles in her cage no matter how long we had her out on the ground. Now that she is in a 2x3 she is much happier. If your hedgehog is bored or unhappy they have ways of letting you know. 

It is important to socialize with your hedgehog regularly but most wont miss you if you aren't there so dont feel bad if you cant spend every day with them


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