# Frustrated



## Jen.Uh.Fur (Mar 29, 2011)

Sketch is doing so much better compared to the beginning. She loves the time that she gets to be out and about. She loves Tim. She calms down so much faster with him handling her, and seems to enjoy being around him. But me, she still is a huffy ball with me. She won't open up around me at all. If I put her down on the floor, she will uncurl and start her nightly run. But if I try to even touch her she starts huffing.

Is there something Tim could be doing differently than me? Is there something I'm doing wrong? I just get so frustrated, I'm the one that does everything for her, but I can't get her to like me  .


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## Hedgieonboard (Nov 15, 2009)

This is just a generalization but from things I have witnessed with other animals included--sometimes men have a more confident approach and it seems that they respond more relaxed because of it. I was very nervous when I got my first hedgie and even though I'd be brave and pick him up there was that brief second of hesitation and I think the hedgie picked up that energy and it made him nervous. Do you ever feel like sometimes you anticipate him hissing and balling up, that can sometimes cause that little bit of hesitation. 

This may not be the case but it was something that I thought may help from what you described. Hope the little guy comes around and starts hanging out with his mama too since she does all the hard work 

edited to add- Sorry for referring to your hedgie as a boy, I have a bad habit of that lol


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## Nancy (Aug 22, 2008)

Hedgehogs often decide who they like and who they don't. Some of ours preferred me, others preferred my daughter. The most obvious was Snow. She was supposed to be Jess's but every time Jess touched her she got bit and bit hard. Not me. Snow very quickly became mine. :lol: 

Jess used to work at a pet store and they had this little girl that was very unsocial. She would not uncurl for any of the staff and numerous customers looked at her and it was always the same thing. One evening, a couple who were passing through the city stopped in to see if they had any hedgehogs. Their previous hedgehog had died recently and they wanted another but could not find any in their area. My daughter said, yes we have one but she is very shy. They wanted to see her anyways and as soon as Jess handed her to them, she opened up, laid her quills flat and was the most social hedgehog imaginable. Of course, she found her new home and they kept in touch after and she was a wonderful girl for them. 

I could tell many more stories about reactions to certain people but often the hedgehog chooses who they like.


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## Judi (Jul 9, 2009)

If you touch your other pets more than your husband does, it might be the scent of other pets on you that makes her nervous. I've noticed none of my hedgies care to be held by me if I've petted our dog recently.


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## hercsmom (Jul 6, 2010)

Herc loves me, but he really does love his daddy a little bit more. He will snuggle and be sweet with me, but only if he doesn't notice his dad. If his dad is holding him and I talk to him, he quills up. It's actually really funny. I figure it's because I'm the one who does the bathing and nail cutting and medicine and vet visits, while good time dad only holds him and snuggles him. :lol:


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## MissC (Nov 15, 2010)

A second vote from me for all of these: if Snarf's life is in imminent dange (at vet or in bath), *I* am his hero...otherwise, Jamie's da man. He cuddles with me during the day but falls asleep faster and sleeps 'harder' on Jamie and if I dare to speak to him at ANY time, he huffs. No talky.

I think it's a combo of hedgie preference, two previous male owners and a BF who never wants to be the bad guy, so nails, vet visits and anything painful/uncomfortable are MY jobs. :lol: 

hedgieonboard has a good point: just tell yourself you're going to pick her up and that's it!! And do it with 'tude. It may help. Didn't help me...but we're talking about Snarf here...so... :?


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