# I did not expect this to be my first post.



## Erin. (Mar 24, 2013)

Hello everyone. My name is Erin and I've been stalking hedgehogcentral for a couple years now, mainly gaining knowledge and reading posts answering some of the same questions I've had over the years. I finally decided to join the forum a few days ago and just have not had time to post anything.
If only I knew that this would be my first post...

I have had my hedgehog Raleigh for 3 years now. He was 2 years old when I got him from a woman who not only did not want to care for him, but frankly didn't know how. She had bought him from a pet store for her daughter who quickly lost interest and he had been just barely being kept up with for over a year. When I got him he was terribly frightened of everything and wouldn't come out of his ball if anybody was in the room. Also, a couple days after I brought him home I noticed he had neon green/teal poop. Luckily, I had already scheduled him a check up so we were off to the vet the next morning. Oh my poor man had mites and just a total overload of nasty bacteria in his GI tract. The next few months were rather trying for it was quite difficult to give him all the meds he needed when he would barely even come out for a mealie, but we made it through! He really started coming around after about 2 months and then made a complete turn around after he didn't require all those icky meds anymore. From then on he was my baby! When I was home, he was with me. In my hood, in my hoodie pocket, snuggling up to me or making me chase him around. He was so sweet after about 6 months I almost never saw him in a ball. Ever. When it was warm enough, we'd sit outside together and just enjoy the day. He is just perfect.
As you all know, time just goes way too quick sometimes. As he got older I took him to the vet regularly to make sure everything was alright. His last appointment was in December actually and my vet said "Nothing out of the ordinary for a hedgie pushing 5 years old." 
He was getting a little clumsy on his feet, his eyesight wasn't the best and he had to have his food ground up but other than that, he was just has happy as always.
Well, this morning I woke up and went to check on my hedgies like I always do. (I just rescued a hedgie 2 weeks ago, so then there were 2.) And it was cage cleaning day. Of course, Raleigh had his signature poopfeet so I took him to get a quick foot bath. He seemed to be acting a bit funny when I set him in the water (only about a 1/4") so I turned around and got a towel to dry him up. When I turned back around, I looked at him and his nose was in the water. Not realizing the gravity of what was happening, I yelled "Raleigh, stop that!" and picked him up. At that time, he was already gone..... Literally, just like that, in about 5 seconds, he was gone...
Naturally, I blame myself.... If only I just picked him up, if only I hadn't turned around...
I am being crushed by guilt and heartache.

Anyway, if I could say one thing to Raleigh it's that I'm sorry. If there was anything I could have done differently to prevent this from happening to you, I'm truly sorry. I love you, and will love you for always, my sweet, sweet boy.
Thank you for reading, I just know you all love your hedgies just as much as I love mine and just having people who can relate to me is a little comforting.

RIP Raleigh. I love you.


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## fionas_mommy (Oct 27, 2012)

Oh I am so sorry.I really am. I just lost my little girl two weeks ago yesterday. I loved her with all my heart just the way you described your little baby. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you took a poor neglected baby and turned his life around in such an amazing way. Take comfort in knowing he loved you more than anyone in the entire world. 5 years is a good life for a hedgie, and the way you talk about him, I can't imagine he would've had a better life with anyone else. I promise, I cried for a long time with Fiona, and I'm still heart broken, but after a little while you'll only remember the wonderful memories and you'll smile knowing he's doing well in hedgie heaven, and you won't be as sad. You'll always miss him, but it'll be with fond memories. I'm sure your three years together outweigh the last few moments. Please find peace that you did an amazing thing for him. I'm sure Raleigh wouldn't want his mommy to be sad. 

You're in my thoughts. Let us know if you need anything.


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## kvmommy (Feb 2, 2013)

I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. He had a wonderful life because of you. To be honest...5 seconds is to short for anything to drown and you said he was acting weird. It was probably his time, and nothing you could about it. Don't blame yourself! He went fast and peacefully which is what most people want and can never have. He was very lucky to have you and you to have him. I'm sad this is your first post, but welcome to HHC and I hope we get to know you and your new rescue better.


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## momIImany (Oct 14, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss but you had some wonderful years with your sweetheart. Think about all the good times you shared and how you took in a rescue and changed both your lives. Life is fleeting but memories stay with us forever. Hugs.


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## jholstein11 (Dec 13, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up... those 5 seconds... maybe that was him sparing you watching him go. He was loved and he was cared for. You will meet again, I just know it. **big epic hugs**


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## shmurciakova (Sep 7, 2008)

I also wanted to say welcome to the forums - although this is not the way you wanted to be welcomed. I am very sorry for your loss and I agree with the others, I don't think you could have done anything differently. He passed very quickly and that is a blessing. I know it doesn't make you feel any better and only time can do that. I would say take this time to focus on your other little hedgie and use your knowledge to help others here on the forums.
My first hedgie Snoball was not even 4 when she died of a pulmonary embolism. It was also very quick and I felt like I did not handle the situation correctly when she passed. I spent all this time trying to give her breaths (which probably scared her), thinking she was choking, etc. etc. I wish I had just held her during those final moments - but I did not understand what was happening. It all took less than 5 min. and was very shocking. So, I know how awful it is......but just realize that he knew you loved him and had done so much to make his life better.
-Take care,
Susan H. :|


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## SpikeMoose (Dec 9, 2012)

I am truly sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your little one all day today. I hope you are able to find peace in the coming days, you gave him a beautiful and long life.


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## LarryT (May 12, 2009)

So sad for your loss, hugs


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## Shell (Aug 23, 2012)

Awww, I'm so sorry. You did everything right, and only showed the love and care for your little one. Have no regrets and no guilt. You gave him all those years of happiness.
I feel the same way as shmurciakova when my heart dog passed away. I panicked, and now wish all I did was held him instead of medicating, and fussing over his illness and not being calm. You were handling and caring for your baby just before he passed and he went peacefully knowing you were there. 
Remember the good times and know he'll always be in your heart, and watching over you. (((hugs)))


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## abbys (Oct 13, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss. But please please please don't blame yourself. Accidents happen to the most experienced of parents. You gave him a wonderfully happy, long life and he'll always be with you. He knew his mom loved him and he wouldn't want you to feel guilty. *Big hugs*


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## Erin. (Mar 24, 2013)

Thank you so much for the kind words, everyone. I really do appreciate it. It's been a long few days, but you guys are right, the good memories do outweigh the bad. I can't believe he's gone. I still expect to see him in his cage when I wake up in the morning, but I'm sure in time it will get easier. Also, I agree that it was better this way, at least he never suffered. I still feel terrible, but I have to accept it for what it is.
Thanks again everyone and Happy Easter!


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