# Anti-social hedge



## Fenner (Apr 23, 2015)

I'm looking for some advice. I have two hedgehogs. I adopted one in April and one in May. I'm a first time hedgie owner. I adopted them from a breeder who I went to nursing school with years ago. I got lots of good advice from her, spent hours and hours reading here, talked to a vet etc. My hedgies have great cage setups, high quality food, lots of space and toys. They come out for a minimum of 60 minutes a day. Lots of times, they are out for much longer. One of them(the one I got in May) does great. He huffs a tiny bit when I first pick him up but will then sit on my lap and wander around etc. The other one is completely anti social. He balls up, clicks, huffs, puffs jumps etc. I'll keep the lights dim, and put him in a fleece on my lap. I stay quiet and pretty still. Usually just watch tv or mess around on my iPad. I've tried to bribe him with mealworms, he's not having it. He devours them in his cage though. He eats well, runs on his wheel a lot, I have a tshirt with my scent on it in his cage etc. 

The breeder asks about them often and I told her what was going on. She said every once in awhile she has a baby or two that acts this way. She said she'd be happy to take him back and let us pick another baby if we'd like. I'm not sure what to do. I kind of feel like I'd be selling out on him  I know that some hedgies just act this way and it's their nature not to be friendly/social animals. What I'm wondering is what is best for him. She said that the rare times she gets a hedgie like this she either uses them for breeding or sells them to another breeder for breeding purposes and that some hedgies are just happier being left alone. I feel like maybe I should give it more time or just love him for who he is, I don't want to make him unhappy though. Honestly, in the time we've had him he's only become less social.... Advice?


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## writergirlmel (May 16, 2015)

I think it really boils down to what you want out of a pet.

I'd definitely want to be sure that he's not going to be neglected if he returns to your friend/breeder, that he won't be sold off to a less-than-reputable breeder (i.e. someone who doesn't have a clue what they're doing, someone who can't be licensed, or someone who pretty much runs a mill), and that he won't be sold to just anyone. But if none of those things are going to happen, it might be more responsible to give him a chance with someone else if he's never going to be the pet you need him to be or if you can't or don't wish to be the owner he needs you to be.

That being said, it's not unheard of for some hedgehogs to take months before showing the slightest sign of bonding with (i.e. tolerance for) their owners. Your little guy may develop into a downright affectionate pet. Or he may not. I'm not sure I fully trust the claim that your friend only "rarely" breeds a hedgehog that has difficulty adjusting or really never adjusts to a quill-ever home. If that's the case, she is exceptional at breeding for temperament and socializing her babies. From what you've said, I do think people who purchase from her probably do find success more often than not, but I also think you need to be prepared for the possibility that another hedgehog may present with the same difficulties. Of course, another may not, as well.

In the end, there's certainly nothing wrong with admitting that your little guy is not a match for your family -- as long as you make sure he is responsibly re-homed. But at the same time, as long as you're making an effort with him and giving him the care you've described, he's certainly not suffering with your family either.


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## shinydistraction (Jul 6, 2014)

So when she has a hedgehog that is less friendly than her other babies, she uses them for breeding or sends them to another breeder for breeding? That doesn't make the slightest bit of sense to me. You're supposed to breed the healthiest, friendliest hogs available. Not the least friendly.

Ignoring that for a moment; you've only had them for a few months. Some hedgehogs simply take a longer than others to calm down and really settle in. Sounds like you got an easy one to go along with the harder one. So you can see what is likely ahead of you if you'll persevere with this one. You get out of these relationships what you put into them. The ones you work the hardest for can be the most rewarding. I personally would give this little guy some more time.

In the mean time you may just need to adjust your approach. Maybe this little guy needs a bit of space. Maybe get a play pen you can sit in with him. He may like to explore some. And it might help if he gets to approach you at his own pace.

Which hedgehog do you take out first each night? The easy one or the harder one? If you're taking the easier one out first, maybe your other baby smells the other one (they're both male, right?) and is upset by it. You might switch up the order if that's the case.


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## nikki (Aug 28, 2008)

I have to agree about the breeder using the "less friendly" hedgehogs for breeding. That is so backwards from what good breeders are trying to do for the species. When I was breeding I would pull any ill tempered hedgehog from my breeding program. I had one that was a beautiful chocolate snowflake but never bred him because of his personality. I just kept him as a pet for myself.


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## Fenner (Apr 23, 2015)

Thank you for the replies. My heart was telling me that I should keep him, and you've made that decision easy for me. I certainly wasn't expecting either of them to hop into my hands and love me, lol. Should I continue getting him out everyday? I've tried a pen. He lays flat with his visor covering his eyes once in awhile he'll "peek" and then shove it down when he sees I'm still there. I just want him to be happy.


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## twobytwopets (Feb 2, 2014)

Keep getting him out. You are not totally at step one. If you stop handling him you will take steps back. 
When you get him out is he bringing his t shirt with him?


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## writergirlmel (May 16, 2015)

Fenner said:


> Thank you for the replies. My heart was telling me that I should keep him, and you've made that decision easy for me. I certainly wasn't expecting either of them to hop into my hands and love me, lol. Should I continue getting him out everyday? I've tried a pen. He lays flat with his visor covering his eyes once in awhile he'll "peek" and then shove it down when he sees I'm still there. I just want him to be happy.


In my opinion, yes.

I'm sure that some people feel there's a certain point when it's acceptable to simply leave a hedgehog alone and simply provide a safe home, food and water, etc, but I tend to think otherwise. First, I'm not convinced he'll never become more tolerant and affectionate. Second, if you don't consistently handle a hedgehog, you're not going to be able to handle him when you _need_ to handle him for bathing, health checks, administration of medical care, syringe feeding, or simply getting him to the vet. So whether it makes him happy or not, routine handling is something he needs to tolerate and something you need to be persistent with.


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## Ally's_Oliver (Feb 8, 2015)

Im having similar issues with my rescue as far as the excessive grumpies and defensiveness. I have had him since May. The changes are subtle and sloooooow but you can see them progressively gettinging better. I do a sort of social benchmark with him every month or so where I time how long it takes for him to calm down after picking him up, when holding him, when I flip him on his back, when petting him, etc. and that's when I can see that difference where it takes him less time to stop hissing and relax his quills ever so slightly. You just got to keep at it. Somedays you want to cry in frustration because you just want to love him! However you have to remember, if you decide to leave him alone because he's unhappy when you try to bond he's going be worse off in the long run due to the stress of being around you and having a human owner and not being used to you. He's got to bond with you so that he's not constantly in the tense, stressed state of mind every time you try to do something even as simple as replacing his water dish. And personally I wouldn't give him back. I believe that if I took on the responsibility to rescue him, I won't give up on him. Plus the bonding process is going to start all over when a hedgehog is rehomed and it's clear you have a slow to bond. Why reset the months of hard work? It's likely his quality of life will not be the same without you.


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## SnuggleBugComforts (Jul 19, 2015)

My first hedgehog took a while to get used to me. She never liked being on her back or getting her nails clipped or anything but she eventually got used to being pet and being on my lap. I would suggest to just keep at it and see if he adjusts over time. I would also suggest bringing him out first, or at least switching blankets in between hedgies. Any chance you could try switching his food? Maybe its not agreeing with him and making him grumpy. I wish you luck!


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