# Thank you :)



## abbys (Oct 13, 2012)

I just want to say thank you to everyone at HHC for being who you are. You take the time to read through people's posts and answer thoroughly, and you're supportive and calm even when someone makes a mistake. Most of all, when someone posts something that you don't agree with, you offer different perspectives and suggest different methods without condemning them or being hostile. You take the time to understand people's intentions and perspectives. Since this was the first forum I ever joined, I assumed other forums would be similar.

And then I joined The Knot.

I have never been in a wedding before, and I had a few questions about being maid of honor. I posted 4 questions over the past few weeks (like, should I speak up when the bride backs out of financial promises and puts the burden on us? Should I keep a day-of "survival kit?").

The responses to 3 of them brought me to tears. There are some truly cruel people out there. They actually went out of their way to post mean, critical responses that had nothing to do with my actual question, and only one of my questions was ever even answered. It was a barrage of judgment, belittlement, and cattiness that was hateful to the core.

I don't know what I did wrong. I phrased my words carefully to avoid misinterpretation. I did my best to defend myself and to clarify everything, but it just kept coming. Maybe I’m just overly sensitive, but I ended up deleting my account yesterday and I will never go back.

I'm so glad this forum isn't full of nutcases.


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## Inky (Dec 29, 2012)

I agree! Thank you everyone!

Abbys - join the Offbeat Bride discussions  They are AWESOME and WAY more laidback than The Knot. 

As for your questions:

1) Absolutely yes, speak up. It may cause hurt feelings, but she needs to know if you are not financially able to handle some of the things they request. After having been a bridesmaid a few times, I specifically paid for everything, except travel, for my bridal party because I know how crazy the expenses that brides expect you to pay are.

2) Never hurts to be prepared  Aspirin, extra hose if you're wearing any, a protein bar or two, and maybe a mini sewing kit would be handy. The day of is so busy that a lot of people forget to eat.


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## abbys (Oct 13, 2012)

Yeah, I was shocked at how out of control it got. They read other people's misinterpreted responses and assumed it accurately reflected my post, and piled on their comments from there. Seriously messed up. I'll check out the Offbeat Bride.

I have a couple more years to make this decision, but eloping is looking pretty good right now.


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## sklock65 (Jan 9, 2013)

Look at that! You even got your wedding questions answered on here! 

I feel the same way for the most part. There have been a few harsh responses I've seen (when I first joined the forum I simply asked about hedgehog food because I really didn't know, was curious and WANTED insight and one or two responses made me unsure about whether or not to stick around). Anyways I'm glad I did. I've learned so much and try to offer any advice I have, even if I haven't been through it myself. When Piglet ate that 409 I didn't have any first hand experience but I hoped my suggestions would at least help in the slightest!

I've learned a lot on the forum and hope that god forbid I'm ever in a sticky situation with my hedgie good karma will come around and someone will be around to help/offer advice. 

Sooooo pretty much I wanna jump in and say thanks too! This place turned out to be pretty darn cool


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## momIImany (Oct 14, 2012)

Yes, I agree. Most are awesome. Some come off alittle strong ~ but I think they are just so passionate about the welfare of animals that they don't realise how they are coming across. Lots of knowledge is passed on and friendships made. I too thank everyone for their wisdom, time and patience.  

Oh, and Abbys, I agree with Inky ~ speak up and be prepared. Most people are not financially secure and brides don't think twice (in their own excitement) about the cost to the party.

And sklock65 ~ I'm so glad that your hog is doing better. That was a scare with the 409.


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## fionas_mommy (Oct 27, 2012)

I had to respond to this because I know EXACTLY what you mean. I have been perusing some bridal forums searching for someone(s) who could perform an interfaith marriage (Christian and Muslim) and rather than any advice or suggestions, I got criticism, often to the point of hateful/prejudiced responses from both sides, about my choice in a husband (or his choice in me). like wow...I was asking about a small formality and they decide to tell me how wrong and disgusting we are (and our hypothetical children will be). thats exactly what I was looking for, thanks :roll: 

But yeah, this forum has been amazing with helping me with Fiona, up until her last couple days. So informative...I never realized how much I didnt know about hedgies til I came here :? lol i love that other people love hedgies so much. these little creatures that so many people just dont even know about ("ZOMG IS THAT A PORCUPINE?!?!?!?!?11111) and I'm glad im not the only crazy hedgie lady haha and of course, I love this place for all the adorable pics!  

best of luck with all the wedding arrangements! even if it isn't for a few years haha


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