# I feel guilty.



## Catriforco (Feb 7, 2017)

We got a hedgie on May of 2016, He was born on 22/02, like me. The hedgie wasn't mine, but It will always be MY baby. My ''sister'' of 6 years old wanted an hedgehog because she was watching youtube videos, and she got onto hedgie videos, and she liked them, because they're cute. 

She's not really my sister, my mom has a new boyfriend, she got onto a relationship when I was 6 years old. (now 14) then they had 2 babies. My mom was everything I had, because I had a lot of problems with my father, everything was so complicated, My dad tried to rape me, So that is Why I love my mom so strongly. So, my mom and my dad aren't together, but she got a new boyfriend that is fine, but I never got along with his bf. Since I'm 6 Never celebrate a birthday, because I felt so sad. 

The boyfriend of my mom, and father of my sister, bought an hedgehog. We called him ''SANIK'', so that's why the hedgie wasn't mine. So we brought him at home, and She was so EXCITED but, the hedgie was scared, doing ''FUFUFU'' sounds. So, she was dissapointed and left the hedgie alone. My mom didn't like him too, so they didn't cleaned him. I felt so worried about him because he was a life, and I love animals a lot, since I'm a child, but I felt scared too because I didn't know anything about hedgies.

So, I started cleaning his cage, I made him a bed. Everyday I took him 1 hour daily to pet him or trying him to trust me, And I achieved that. It took me months, He was peaceful after 7 months with me.

Then my sister wanted it again. The hedgie was sleeping on my room, then the boyfriend of my mom, yelled at me and I had to gave my sister ''his'' hedgehog. The hedgie was pooping everywhere, somedays he didn't had food or fresh water, I had to do it in secret, because if my sister catch me feeding ''his hedgehog'' could scream.

One night my mom and his bf got invited on a marriage of one of his friends, my brother and my sis had to be with a babysitter, and I had to stay on my grandma's house. I begged to my mom ''Please, let me bring the hedgehog with me... they won't take care of him this night'' And she didn't let me.

The next day, I came back to my home, and the hedgie was shaking, without energy, and he didn't wanted to eat or drink water.... And he died... It was in the early morning... 3AM. He was trying to breath, but he opened his mouth to breath, but he was in a shock phase. My mom touched his eye and he didn't closed his eye. So.. he stopped breathing.

I feel so guilty, I just have this paint. He passed away more than a week ago and I just miss his tiny feet on his wheel, I wake up wanting to cleaning his cage, and putting clean water and food... I just miss him so much... I was with depression, taking medicine and nothing worked with me, but the hedgie gave me light on my life, I felt so alive with him... He was my baby and now he's not here with me anymore.


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## SquirtleSquirt (May 9, 2016)

I'm so sorry for so many things you already had to bear in these 14 years of your life. My condolences are with you. I just want you to know that the death of your baby is not your fault. You did everything you could do to give the hedgie a good life.


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## GourmetMommy (May 9, 2014)

{{{{HUGS}}}} I am so sorry for your loss. You should not feel guilty you did the best you could


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## Catriforco (Feb 7, 2017)

Thank you everyone


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