# Traveling with Hedgie and Hedgie-Hater



## SouthernSweet (Jul 25, 2012)

Oh lawdy. I just got back from a 5-day road-trip type of vacation.

I took Quinnlee along in her carrier, plus a small suitcase (food, wheel, etc) and a portable playpen to put her in at night. Got permission from my dad to bring her along, so I didn't get a petsitter.

I guess he never checked to see if that was okay with his wife, on top of which he assumed I would be keeping her in the carrier the whole trip. Umn... no.

I worked with the fact that there wasn't room for the playpen, and set her up in a bathtub for two nights, and a closet for three. I was nervous about the temperature and how it might affect Quinnlee (we traveled north) so I checked her regularly in the car.

My dad's wife hates hedgehogs; she says they look like rats. Okay, but she is nothing like a rat, and she doesn't bother anyone. She low maintenance, small and quiet. Logically, using her brain, that should make Quinnlee okay, right? Nope, she's a "wild animal" and my dad's wife was upset that I was taking her out of the carrier at any point in time.

I don't know anyone else who is bothered by Quinnlee, so her behavior has rubbed me the wrong way.She married my dad half a year ago, and it seems like she thinks this gives her some sort of authority over me (I'm in my 20's so this is unreasonable). It's not up to her to decide how I care for my animal, just because she thinks hedgehogs are creepy. So are pugs and hairless cats, but that doesn't give anyone an excuse to abuse/neglect them.

I'm also ticked that I wasn't permitted to drive when both my dad and his wife are terrible drivers.

I need to find a way to approach them about this, because either his wife puts me at friendship level or we will not have a relationship. I will not be spoken down to :x


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## moxieberry (Nov 30, 2011)

My mom is like that with any small animals. I think part of the reason I'm hedgie-obsessed is because I've always been an animal lover, but I was never able to have any pets growing up, other than goldfish (the kind you win at fairs and they die after a week) and a turtle. And turtles are pretty much the definition of a pet you don't interact with, haha. We did get a dog when I was 14, but yeah, my mom has always been vehemently against small animals. I once bought a feeder mouse at a pet store near us, brought it home as a pet, and she freaked out and made me return it.

Anyway! She and my dad will be visiting for Christmas (they live in NY, where I'm originally from) and it will be her first time meeting our hedgehogs, by which I mean, any hedgehogs ever. And we have a whole room of them. By this point she's gotten used to the idea that I breed them, that hedgehogs are a big part of my life, but I don't expect she'll be willing to actually hold one. Maybe with a little work, and a later visit, but definitely not right away. I've also seen other people (like a few people in Nick's family) who have been hesitant or weirded out at first, and then gradually come around to the idea, eventually being willing to hold a hedgehog and admitting that they're pretty cool little critters. It requires an open mind, though, which your dad's wife might lack. XD

For your situation, I don't like the sound of your dad's wife - so just think of it as a good reason to not have to deal with her visiting you, haha. In all seriousness, though, this sounds like primarily a family issue. She doesn't have to like hedgehogs, and now that you know she's so against them you can work around it in the future. But in terms of how she treats you, yeah - you're in your 20's, you don't have any well established relationship with her from when you were younger. You don't have to be friendly, but she has to treat you and hopefully respect you as an adult. The "parent/child" relationship is between you and your dad, and she's not part of that. What I would do, in that situation, is approach your dad about it. Make him understand that you're not going to put up with it. Better to take a stance now, nip it in the bud so to speak, than to let her get away with it for a while. If it were me, I'd emphasize the fact that if she continues to talk down to you, then you don't want to be around her, and that will get in the way of your relationship and time spent with your dad also. Hopefully you have a good relationship with your dad and he'll be reasonable about it.


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