# I'm so frustrated! He not let me handle him!



## xbwoman (Jul 2, 2010)

I'm really so frustrated! My 8 weeks old boy, Sparkle, which I adopted him from the breeder a week ago, not letting me to handle him now.

I've been posted here viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6582 about he bite me on Thursday.

As someone suggest may be an oatmeal bath my help, I'd gave him a bath on Friday night, but he's so scare, he doesn't like the water, even I hold him up to cut his nails, he was trying to curl into a ball, I was not able to hold him without using a baby blanket. I'm not sure if he was angry or frightened, but he kept raising his quills for over 10 mins or more, I'd left him alone but he kept himself in the corner of the basket where I let him play other than his cage. As I saw him couldn't relax for over 10 mins, I force him back to his sleep sack, and bring him back to his cage. I could saw that he relaxed in few seconds after he back to his sack. As I know he must be so scare, I just left him alone there.

Oh, one think, to make him relax I sang to him, I sang some baby songs to him and he seems not to resist.

My husband made him a wheel today, but he doesn't know how to use it yet.

I was trying to pick him up 15 mins ago, it was after he woke up for a long while, I washed my hands as before, and gently put my hand close to him, he smell and not bite (thanks!), but not willing to walk on my palm anymore, and when I was trying to pick him up, he curling into a ball.

Is he hating me?

He keeps hiding himself inside the sack or the paper tube just like an ostrich.

When I walk close to his cage and calling his name, he look at me from the tube, I could saw his eyes were looking at me with no mood, he so down, so blue.

I tried to take away his sack and the tube, he running around in the cage looking for anywhere he can hide in.

Is that I will no longer able to handle him with my palms? I really love this little boy but I am so frustrated that he doesn't like me. 

Can anyone help me? Thanks!


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## Puffers315 (Apr 19, 2010)

7 Days isn't long enough for a hedgehog to start bonding with their new owner, let alone being use to their new home. They are in short, shy and timid creatures, and it can take weeks, months and in rare cases years for them to truly bond with their owner. Right now he is acting the way he is because he is in a new home, strange smells and strange surroundings. He's reacting to you because he hasn't built a trust of you yet, its something all owners have to work on. Each hedgehog has their own personality, and he might be at the 'shy' end of the scale, and thus will require more work to bond with.

I wouldn't bother with the baths or nail trimming right now, unless he's got super long nails and or is horribly filthy. Hedgehogs tend to not like water, some will freak out just at the sound of a running tap, while others love taking a bath. So hold off on any of that.

He's going to act the way he is, just because its all new for him. He hasn't bonded with you or built up a trust and indeed will ball up when you pick him up. This is going to take time, more than just 7 days.

So this is what you need to do. First do not take away his hiding places, if he doesn't have an igloo or hut to hide in, then you need to provide him one. This will give him a safe and secure feeling when need be, otherwise by removing them, he'll stress because he cannot hide. Leave him be for awhile, let him get use to his new home, the new smells, and watch how he acts. If he's hiding all the time, then you'll notice over the course of the days that he'll slowly come out and explore on his own. Talk and interact with him, but leave him in the cage for the most part for at least a couple of days.

When you start the actual bonding process, expect him to ball up, he's going to fear you for awhile until he's quite sure you are safe. What most owners will do is they will pick up their hedgehog, who will indeed ball up. You sit down somewhere and read, watch tv or a movie, and you just sit him on your lap. Talk to him, sing to him if you want, but just leave him on your lap. Have him on the baby blanket and cover him while he's on your lap. Being hidden will make him more comfortable with being out. But just sit there and don't poke at him. Sooner or later he will unball and then probably start to explore, or since he's a baby he'll go to sleep. Either one is fine. Let him explore you, everything around you, and just let him do his thing. Put your hand near him if he's not biting, just so he can get use to your smell and the movement of other things in the house. He'll react to this, he'll possibly ball back up or click and hiss. But bottom line is, he's going to do it.

Then just every night, start a routine and take him out of the cage at the same time, sit and chill somewhere with him in your lap, and let him do what he wants. Over time you'll see the changes in him, he'll become more comfortable and stop reacting to everything, but keep in mind some might always react to everything, but either way you'll see changes in his personality.

Only being patient and letting time pass will things get better for you guys. Since each hedgehog is unique in their own way, no one can give you the specifics on how long this is going to take.

Prime Examples...

My first Hedgehog Vera Lee was a very socialized hedgehog (she was also a year old). She did not ball, pop, hiss or click at anyone and her worse reaction was to huff at your hand when you put it near her or picked her up. She was only with me for a month due to health issues, but after that first month she had stopped huffing at me when I went to pick her up.

Hester Sue I adopted on May 21st and she is the total opposite of Hester Sue. She is now only 25 weeks old, but still a hissing, popping, clicking and even sometimes growling ball of quills when I get near her. She always balls up when I pick her up, but I have slowly seen the changes in her reaction. When I first got her and would take her out, she'd remain in a ball for up to 20 minutes in my lap, occationally sticking her face out until something moved. Over the course of our time together, she'll now pretty much come out of her ball within a minute and reacts very less to movement and sounds. Use to be anything with an S sound would make her flinch, now she no longer reacts. She is this way due to being handled very little at a younger age.

Loki I adopted June 5th and he was horribly upset over being rehomed (he's 2 years old and been rehomed twice now). It took him at least a week before I even really got to see his face, he would hide in his sleeping bag and only come out very late at night. He would ball up, hiss, huff and click at me when I would go to pick him up, though he'd only remain in the ball for a minute. Over the course of two months he has stopped much of it. He'll come out and about when the lights are dim, he won't ball up if I let him smell my hand first, and generally doesn't act scared when being on me.

So as said, give him an igloo or hiding hut in his cage and let him relax for a day or two. Then start with the routine bonding sessions. The longer the better but even just having him on you for 20 minutes a day will help vastly. Take him out, put him in the baby blanket, and then just chill and watch tv and let him come to you and explore on his own. Keep doing this and over the course of time, he'll become more comfortable and trusting of you.

Time is the hedgehog owners best friend.


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## xbwoman (Jul 2, 2010)

Thanks *Puffers315* for your detail reply!

So you still pick them up using ur hands even they are in a ball? I can't pick him up as it's so hurt when he's in a ball.

He keeps stepping on his poo poo that's why I need to wash his foots, he did has very long nails so I cut it on Friday after his little bath.

I did picked him up together with his sleeping bag, then putting on a blanket on my lap, but later he explored around and trying to leave my lap, he prefer to stay on my couch. :roll:


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## Puffers315 (Apr 19, 2010)

Loki I can pick up since he stopped balling up on me, Hester on the other hand gets picked up with a folded piece of fleece, its how most people deal with a balling hedgehog, most can't take the sharpness of their quills when they are standing up. So that's fine.

And yeah if he's got poopy boots and long nails, then bath time cannot be avoided. Just keep in mind that it might freak him out a little but there's nothing you can do to avoid it, better to have clean feet than poop boots. I know a trick some owners will do is dampening a wash cloth and letting the hedgehog walk on it, it'll soften up the boots. And for trimming his nails, if you do it while he's in his bath, he won't ball up on you. Hedgehogs will not ball up in water, so usually you can wrangle with them and get access to their feet. This is how I've done Hester's nails, otherwise she'd be a clicking ball of spikes if I attempted to get a leg from her.

And its good that he came out and explored, there's generally two types of hogs, explorers who will want to check everything out around them, and cuddlers who will chill on you. If he came out of his bag and explored the couch, that's good, means he's probably getting use to his surroundings or feels at least safe enough to be out in the open. Sounds like over time he'll be a nice rounded hedgehog, just remember, its going to take time.


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## EryBee (May 23, 2010)

> And for trimming his nails, if you do it while he's in his bath, he won't ball up on you. Hedgehogs will not ball up in water, so usually you can wrangle with them and get access to their feet. This is how I've done Hester's nails, otherwise she'd be a clicking ball of spikes if I attempted to get a leg from her.


Hah, so that's how people do it! I have been having the hardest time getting Phinneus to cooperate with nail trimming! I swear, his nails grow at three times the speed of normal critters'.


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## shaelikestaquitos (Feb 2, 2010)

EryBee said:


> > And for trimming his nails, if you do it while he's in his bath, he won't ball up on you. Hedgehogs will not ball up in water, so usually you can wrangle with them and get access to their feet. This is how I've done Hester's nails, otherwise she'd be a clicking ball of spikes if I attempted to get a leg from her.
> 
> 
> Hah, so that's how people do it! I have been having the hardest time getting Phinneus to cooperate with nail trimming! I swear, his nails grow at three times the speed of normal critters'.


Me too, EryBee :lol:
I'm having the hardest time trimming Kashi's front nails T-T


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## xbwoman (Jul 2, 2010)

Puffers315 said:


> And for trimming his nails, if you do it while he's in his bath, he won't ball up on you. Hedgehogs will not ball up in water, so usually you can wrangle with them and get access to their feet. This is how I've done Hester's nails, otherwise she'd be a clicking ball of spikes if I attempted to get a leg from her.


Thanks for your reply again!

Do you just pick up his little foot and he is still standing on water and cut his nail ? Or you pick him out from from water and cut?


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## PJM (May 7, 2010)

XB - do you know the story of the little boy that became friends with a wild wolf? At first, all he did was sit and watch the wolf from afar. Then, slowly, every day the wolf came a little closer & closer. Until one day it was sitting right in front of the little boy. 
It is only frustrating because you are having unrealized expectations. You are expecting your little one to be friendly & playful & he's not ready yet. You have to change your expectations, or you will continue to be frustrated. You have to be like the little boy & just be there & wait. And rejoice in every little bit of progress that you make. Be patient & find pleasure in the little things. You will both be happier.


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## Hedgieonboard (Nov 15, 2009)

That was very well said and so true


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## xbwoman (Jul 2, 2010)

PJM said:


> XB - do you know the story of the little boy that became friends with a wild wolf? At first, all he did was sit and watch the wolf from afar. Then, slowly, every day the wolf came a little closer & closer. Until one day it was sitting right in front of the little boy.
> It is only frustrating because you are having unrealized expectations. You are expecting your little one to be friendly & playful & he's not ready yet. You have to change your expectations, or you will continue to be frustrated. You have to be like the little boy & just be there & wait. And rejoice in every little bit of progress that you make. Be patient & find pleasure in the little things. You will both be happier.


PJM, thanks for your reply. It was because he was so friendly the first 3 days, he slept on my lap, allowed me to handle him in the first 3 days. But not after he got a foot wash after the 4th day.


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## PJM (May 7, 2010)

It's like 2 steps forward & 1 step back. But you will keep moving forward, only very slowly. I am sure that he will get more comfortable with you if you don't rush it. He may be going through quilling, or adjusting to his new surroundings, or just having a bad couple days. Animals can reflect our feelings. So if you are frustrated, then he is frustrated. So just give it some time & think happy thoughts.


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## Puffers315 (Apr 19, 2010)

xbwoman said:


> Thanks for your reply again!
> 
> Do you just pick up his little foot and he is still standing on water and cut his nail ? Or you pick him out from from water and cut?


I did it while she was in the water (foot bath levels) and it wasn't overly simple, as she was attempting to climb out on the sides of the sink and or would turn and start climbing my arm. But I manage to get ahold of a foot and clip the nails. I know if she wasn't in the water, it would have been impossible as she'd been balled up at me even attempting to touch her feet. I didn't do the front as they're not overly long yet. Loki's nails have been fine (though time is approaching quickly) so he'll be next.

As for the method, I forget who posted the video but it was from Youtube of a woman showing how to do it. I'm glad someone posted it, otherwise I was going to have the vet do it, cause Hester Sue loves to ball up on me.


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