# Frustrations & Therapy Pet Rant



## direwolf (Oct 11, 2012)

I need a place to rant where people might understand so here I am!

Some background information: I have really bad anxiety and depression that I have been battling for a very, very long time. My grandpa is currently very sick and I don't know how long he has left to live but I cannot see him until the summer since he lives in Europe. He used to catch hedgehogs for me when I was little and bring them to me, despite him getting poked and bitten viciously. He is like a second father to me so I am having a hard time dealing with his sickness. My anxiety has gotten very bad recently so after talking it over with my mom, I decided to get a hedgehog as a therapy pet to help me with anxiety and give me a connection to my grandpa.

Since I've gotten my little girl, I've been battling with my university's disability center to be able to keep her in my dorm room and the lady there is so incredibly impolite and cold. I'm appalled. I am taking a rehabilitation class right now and she is the perfect example of everything you shouldn't do in a position like that. Dealing with people with disabilities, you would think you have to be sympathetic and understanding! Nope, not this lady. Not only did she roll her eyes at me constantly as I was trying to discuss with her why I need to keep Pepi with me but she asked very inappropriate questions (what kind of meds I'm taking, etc.) and said at the end of our meeting "I expected you to come in and ask for classroom accommodations, not something like this..." in a very snooty tone. My goodness, I am so appalled you guys! She is also acting very skeptical and taking her sweet time making a decision. I understand why she has to be careful to check everything but I'm not just trying to get a pet for the sake of having a pet. I even have a legitimate doctor/therapist note and she has spoken to my therapist (whom I've been seeing for 3+ years and is 100% for this). The housing office all supports me (I work as a 2nd year resident adviser and they all know me very well) and so does my entire peer staff. Everyone is supportive BUT her. Agh! I'm so frustrated! ))):


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## sparkmanr (Aug 29, 2012)

Sorry to hear of all your troubles. I hope things work out for you and they let you keep your hedgehog in your dorm room. It would be really wrong if they didn't after you even had a note from your doctor saying it was something she thought you should have. Good Luck.

BTW, my husband is from Southside of Chicago. of course he's much older than you but i just thought it was something to mention.


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## direwolf (Oct 11, 2012)

Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it. Here's hoping it all works out, and soon.

Aw your hedgie is so cute! That's awesome, I live a block away from White Sox stadium and my boyfriend lives in the south suburbs (right by Evergreen Park). I love the southside! Everyone is so nice and fun to be around.


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## sparkmanr (Aug 29, 2012)

I guess it's a lot different then when he grew up there. It was the hood and drug infested gangs ran place when he was there growing up. He loves Chicago though and is always talking about it. He is a die hard Chicago fan of any sports team there. LOL 

Anyway, back to hedgie business. let us or me know how it turns out. keeping my fingers crossed.


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## smhufflepuff (Aug 28, 2008)

You don't have to put up with that kind of behavior.

If this woman is working at a University, she has a supervisor. Even if she's head of the department, she has a supervisor. 

You can choose to document the attitude, her statements, and the delays. You could then present these to her supervisor and request to work with someone else. 

If it's not apparent who her supervisor is, your University should have a Dean of Students (or someone with a title like that... Director of Student Affairs/Vice President for Student Affairs, etc...) who is in charge of all student services. And either the admin assistant at the Dean's office can point you to the right person or help you set up a meeting with the Dean. 

If the problematic woman is the director of Disabilities, it's quite possible the Dean is her direct supervisor. And if it's the Dean who's been giving you such a hard time, then there's the President. And so on...

Make an appointment with that person, be respectful of them and their time, and present it as a, "I'm really having a problem here. The person who I thought could help isn't helping. Instead, I'm being ignored and stigmatized. I really need your help in figuring this out," type of situation.


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## artistshrugged (Sep 5, 2012)

Agree with smhufflepuff. She may be legitimately confused about the usefulness of therapy animals, and also perhaps about the whole process. I know many people in her position likely do only deal with classroom accommodations, so she may feel over her head. Definitely no reason to treat you like that, but I have found that some people (even in positions where they are supposed to be understanding) are just rude when they don't 'get it'. 

A side story: I went to a therapist for a consult when I first moved to Toronto and talked about how much unexpected anxiety and isolation I felt. Her response was "Wow you have such an accent from the States." Not quite what I wanted to hear when I already felt different and homesick. So there is my story to let you know that sometimes, people just don't know what to say and end up hurting more than helping.

Also I am from the Chicago area!!! And have a history of depression/anxiety. It is part of the reason I adopted my hedgehog, too. Having a pet made me feel less lonely and gave me responsibility. I hope everything works out for you AND for your hedgehog, and best of luck finding a faculty member who can help you out with this woman.


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## Folly (Oct 7, 2012)

Oh geez, I'm sorry you have to deal with something like that v_v a lot of people really don't understand the seriousness of disabilities that they can't immediately see, or why somebody might need an animal for emotional support. Especially since people who really don't NEED a therapy animal seem to think it's A-ok to claim they do just to sneak their pets in! I swear...
I can't really offer advice since I'm not familiar with situations like that, but as another person with severe anxiety problems, I totally understand what you're going though with this lady and wanted to offer my support v_v it's tough when people are so insensitive.


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## cardiologineer (Sep 29, 2012)

I am very sorry, that definitely sucks! I also struggle with a lot of anxiety and mild depression. I spent all summer getting excited about getting pet rats, and then our housing plan fell through and the landlord of the new place we found said no small pets. I was so devastated because having a pet around has always helped me cope, and I was feeling so happy about getting them, it was heartbreaking to find out I couldn't.
I kept feeling upset about it though, so I figured I would try once more, but ask if a hedgehog would be fine, since I thought maybe he mostly had that stigma about rats that a lot of people have. But I got so worked up about asking him (anxiety and all :| ) that I had to have my partner ask for me. Apparently he was still reluctant but didn't want to be "no fun" so he said yes if we paid a pet deposit. I actually had to lay down, I was so overwhelmed. 
I don't really have any advice, since I haven't gone through the office of disabilities here (and my two roommates who have dealt with them don't need much other than early registration times so nothing to really) and I live off campus. But I can definitely sympathize with people not understanding and all that and I'm so sorry. I hope everything all works out for you!


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## hedgielover (Oct 30, 2008)

Another person in the anxiety boat. It's pretty mild for me but it sure effects my life. Especially trying to take public transit. And school was really draining because I liked to participate in class but about half way through what I wanted to say my anxiety would kick in and I had to force myself to finish the sentence. :roll: I'm graduated now and I had a really hard time when my whole schedule changed. Everything in my life changed almost all at once (over about 10 months) so that really didn't help my functioning and coping with anxiety. 

I don't know how dorms work where you are, (or where I am for that matter) but this situation really sucks. This lady needs to be more polite and relax. What's the big deal if you keep a hedgehog cage in your dorm room? I knew I wouldn't be able to have a pet in a dorm, or deal with the social aspect of student housing so I got my own apartment. I just couldn't imagine living even for a year without some kind of pet. Luckily where I am it's pretty much illegal for landlords to tell you, you can't have pets and it's even harder for them to kick you out for having pets. So I get to build up an apartment full of animals. As long as I have the time to look after them and the money to pay for them. Now the only tricky part is maintaining human connections, pesky humans :lol: . 

Good luck, don't give up. You have a doctors note and you have a legitimate reason to keep a pet. Invisible disabilities like anxiety are hard for others to understand but if you have to talk to this lady again ask her if you'd be having the same conversation if it was a seeing eye dog for a blind student. You should call her out on her discrimination (if not in person by e-mail, or ask an advocate to come with you (maybe a friend would be willing, or maybe your therapist would be willing to talk to her directly) explain to her that this hedgehog is just as important to your functioning as a seeing eye dog. 

Also just a quick question, how do you get a hedgehog classified as a therapy pet?


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## direwolf (Oct 11, 2012)

First off, thank you all for your kind words and support. I really, really appreciate it, it's nice to know I'm not the only one out there with issues like this. I wish I could give all of you great, big hugs!

Update on the situation, she is taking her sweet time giving me an answer. I emailed her today politely asking for an update and she said she has to talk to the General Council tomorrow then let me know (GC = lawyers at school...which makes no sense...???). So here's hoping I get an answer soon! I've spoken to the director of housing (also my boss) and my Vocational Rehabilitation teacher who was a disabilities councilor and they both are not happy about what is going on. When this lady called my therapist to talk to her, she was apparently very rude to my therapist.

In regards to getting Pepi as a therapy pet, I had a long discussion with my therapist about the whole story behind why I want a hedgehog and what kind of a pet a hedgehog is (she didn't know if it was a cuddly pet, an aquarium pet, etc. etc.). We concluded that based on my dorm being small and the hedgehog having a personal significance to me that it would make the perfect therapy pet. And Pepi really has, she has been so cuddly and has been helping me de-stress. I haven't had as many panic attacks since she's been around.


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## direwolf (Oct 11, 2012)

Update!

My therapist and the housing director worked pretty hard to get me to keep Pepi and just an hour ago I received an email saying I officially can have her in my dorm room! ( I'm so happy!


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## Folly (Oct 7, 2012)

Yay!!! Congrats! I'm SO glad everything worked out for you and Pepi~! :>


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## hedgielover (Oct 30, 2008)

Awesome! Glad that worked out for you! Congrats.


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## Lilysmommy (Jan 7, 2009)

Yay!!  Congrats!


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