# Convincing my parents?



## Catluvscats (May 4, 2014)

So, I've been trying to convince my parents to let me buy a hedgehog for a VERY long time now. I have done so much research and know lots of information about them. I made a 22 slide PowerPoint all about their care but they still say no! I am in the process of writing them a letter with all the benefits and I am planning to edit a video with cute picture and music.

Someone told my mum that they smell really bad. I know that this can be prevented with regular cage cleans and an air purifier but she doesn't believe me :roll:

Also, she thinks African pygmy hedgehogs shouldn't be kept as pets and it is cruel. Which I don't think is true if they are given proper care. 
Can anyone help me change her mind? :roll::roll::!::?:


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## TrendyK9 (Oct 31, 2014)

I've learned the hard way that "convincing" parents is not going to happen if they aren't willing to discuss, listen, learn, etc. And IMO continually harassing them about something that they give verdict on is just plain disrespectful.... 

No means no, respect them and their decisions. Until you're paying the mortgage or rent, utility bills, and for groceries/medical/clothing/basics then their word is law. That's just life. You'll be going off to college soon, or just plain moving out, and then you can make your own decisions about pets.

Everyone needs to be in agreement when it comes to bringing a pet into the home, though. Doesn't matter what kind of pet it is, if one member (namely a/the parent) isn't in agreement then it's the animal that tends to suffer. A parent that doesn't want the pet in the home may very well limit your ability to care for the animal - not helping with vet bills (or outright not agreeing to vetting if you can't get the hog there yourself), not allowing free range play time or snuggling in the common areas, limiting bathing opportunities, etc etc. 

That being said, have you considered the financial side of things? Do you have a full time, or near to full time, job so you can pay for this pet without digging into your college savings or any savings your parents have put aside for you? We're talking an easy $400+ start up cost. Food and basics aren't any worse than a dog, probably running $20-$30 per month, but vetting can run you $100 or more per visit easily - and that's not counting emergencies. Can you afford a $500+ emergency vet bill?

And what about, as i said earlier, when you move out for college? Most dorms won't allow pets, and many require first year students to either live at home or in the dorms - they don't allow you to live in apartments. Mine certainly didn't! Even if you can bring a pet, you don't know that you'll have the time/funds for it - again, many college students don't and the pet winds up dumped.

It's a huge responsibility to bring a pet into the home, and it DOES affect the entire family - maybe mom just doesn't want that. All i can tell you is to do your research, try to talk to her about it, try to come up with solutions to problems, and then respect her decision as the parent and adult of the household.


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## Catluvscats (May 4, 2014)

Thanks for your advice. At the moment I don't really need to think about college as it is many years away:-? I am able to pay for all a hedgehog requires and any emergency vet bills too. What do you think about keeping hedgehogs as pets?


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## Prickerz (Sep 17, 2014)

They make good pets- for the right person. I got mine after I graduated college. How old are you?? Colleges rarely let you have a pet like that so if you could care for it for it's entire life, then go school, youd be ok. 
You can't use air freshener around them- they have a very strong sense of smell and itll bother the hedgehog. 
I clean the cage as often as anyone. They do have a noticeable odor. I don't think it's a bad smell, and it isn't strong. 

I would try to be as mature as possible. And don't harp on it every chance you get. Ask them to hear you out. Show them this forum? Invite them to ask any questions they have and let the people here answer them in a different thread you make. Then settle it once and for all.


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## Pandamom (May 23, 2014)

Even though you don't think so, your parents do have the right to say no.....it is their house after all! Hedgies are very expensive, and more work than you think. I agree with the above posts, you need to wait til you have your own place or you all come to an agreement. My daughter only got Pippin once she graduated university and could afford the upkeep. We had many conversations beforehand tho, and it took a long time for me to agree. Now, having said all that, I do love our little hedgie but he remains HER pet not mine. 
Respect your parents, they know what's best for you at this point in your life and theirs!


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## Catluvscats (May 4, 2014)

Prickerz said:


> They make good pets- for the right person. I got mine after I graduated college. How old are you?? Colleges rarely let you have a pet like that so if you could care for it for it's entire life, then go school, youd be ok.
> You can't use air freshener around them- they have a very strong sense of smell and itll bother the hedgehog.
> I clean the cage as often as anyone. They do have a noticeable odor. I don't think it's a bad smell, and it isn't strong.
> 
> I would try to be as mature as possible. And don't harp on it every chance you get. Ask them to hear you out. Show them this forum? Invite them to ask any questions they have and let the people here answer them in a different thread you make. Then settle it once and for all.


Thanks for the info. I definitely would never use air freshener as like you said, they have great smell. I don't really need to think about college as I still have 5+ years left at school. Despite this I am very mature for my age and I am committed to looking after pets. (I have a cat already)


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## Lilysmommy (Jan 7, 2009)

Like the others have said, unfortunately, if they say no, they say no. That's great that you'd be able to financially support a hedgehog, but I'm guess you'll still depend on their help for rides to the vet, etc. Parents can be pretty difficult if they disapprove of a pet to begin with, or if they're hesitant. I was 18 when I got Lily & had my mom's support. My dad objected at first, but gave up & ignored the situation afterwards. I wasn't as prepared as I should've been for Lily's care, and once I joined the forum, I set about making necessary changes to a bigger cage, better bedding, and a proper heating system. My mom doubted, questioned, and fought me the whole way, even though all of it was my own time & money. Lily still got what she needed, but it was more of a headache than it should've been!

As far as right now, I would leave it be. They know you want one, you've shown them you know their care, and that's most of what you can do. My only other thought would be to look for breeders in your area, and see if you could schedule a visit for you & your mom (or both parents). You guys can meet some hedgehogs & handle them, and the breeder can answer questions any of you might have. Meeting some hedgies in person and seeing how properly cared for hedgies act and smell like might reduce your mom's objections. But don't press too hard, don't beg, and don't constantly mention it! That's likely to only lead to fights. There will be plenty of time for hedgies in the future if they don't change their minds. I know it's hard to wait though...I'm waiting impatiently until I can afford to bring another one home.


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## NewHedgieOwner100 (May 31, 2014)

Here is my opinion, I would discuss with your parents why they won't let you get a hedgehog and then see if you can compromise or fix the reasons why they say no. Handle this in a mature manner, don't keep pestering them because that will only make them harder to convince. 

Now, hedgehogs are great pets, and they are sutible for children IF you are committed to taking care of them. I clean my hedgehogs cage once a week, give her food and water every night, and clean her wheel and litter tray every morning. I don't have a problem with this as I have a lot of spare time and I honestly enjoy taking care of animals. It is something I am very passionate about. 

If you are able too, tell them that you will pay for the hedhehog, cage, food, toys, ect. yourself and you can do chores around the house for extra money. Tell them if you don't continue to look after the hedhehog, you will have consequences. 

I think the most important thing to do in this situation is to be calm and mature about it. Most parents (including mine) are more open to things if you talk calmly and maturely. 

Good luck!


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## Pandamom (May 23, 2014)

Totally agree with Kelsey....don't get into a situation where fights ensue. Speaking from personal experience with 2 teenagers growing up in my house, you need to let go of some things and really pick your battles. There will be bigger things to argue about in years to come, I think Hedgie owning shouldn't be one of them. Wow, I sound like a meany..sorry! Just speaking as a mom !


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## Teddi4211 (Apr 30, 2014)

I agree with the statements above, and particularly the one saying to ask about the problems and try and make a solution. If your mother doesn't agree with hedgehogs as pets, discuss it and try and explain in a mature way. Also, the smell. They do smell a lot. In the summer you can open a window, but in the winter a lot of time it's too cold. Smell is something that will always be there and is something hedgehog owners must deal with. 

Also, you said that you have 5 years until college? Hedgehogs can live that long, or even older. Many don't, but some do. There is a chance, and if your hedgehog lives to be that age then when you want to go to college there will be that problem of what you will do with him/her. Even apartments have restrictions. Most only allow one cat. That's just something to think about.


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## Catluvscats (May 4, 2014)

Teddi4211 said:


> I agree with the statements above, and particularly the one saying to ask about the problems and try and make a solution. If your mother doesn't agree with hedgehogs as pets, discuss it and try and explain in a mature way. Also, the smell. They do smell a lot. In the summer you can open a window, but in the winter a lot of time it's too cold. Smell is something that will always be there and is something hedgehog owners must deal with.
> 
> Also, you said that you have 5 years until college? Hedgehogs can live that long, or even older. Many don't, but some do. There is a chance, and if your hedgehog lives to be that age then when you want to go to college there will be that problem of what you will do with him/her. Even apartments have restrictions. Most only allow one cat. That's just something to think about.


Thanks for the info. Just to clarify I have 5 years+ left at school but may be longer if I choose to say on in 6th form (I'm from UK) but may be even longer until I go to college  But, obviously I would want the hedgehog to live as long as possible Haha :lol:


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## DesireeM81 (Jun 14, 2014)

Since you are in the UK, don't bombard her but gently remind or explain to your mom that pet hedgehogs are domesticated tame African Pygmy Hedgehogs and they are completely different from their European cousins. They could not in any way survive in the wild and our pet hedgehogs need humans to take care of them. There are a great many differences between our pets and the wild European hedgehog.


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